Assuming the Moon Landing actually happened. . .

  • Join our community of outdoor enthusiasts! Subscribe to Field Ethos Magazine to unlock full forum access and connect with fellow adventurers sharing their stories, tips, and experiences.

    If you are already a subscriber, log in here.
Andrew Wilson

Andrew Wilson

Member
Recently, I've been seeing a lot of accusations flying around the internet that the moon landing was faked. It might be true, I dunno. But what I do know is that the astronauts they sent up there (allegedly) are boring storytellers. They're so pragmatic that when they relay their experience, no one believes them. So, if they had an extra seat on Apollo, whom should they have sent up to cover the experience? I have a few choices in mind, and I'm curious if they'll appear in the replies below.
 
That's a cool question. I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist myself because of the nature of helicopter crew chiefs. I used to be an Army aviator. There are no CIA black helicopters because, if there were, whatever young 19-year-old was maintaining them would eventually blab to his girlfriend. Likewise, if they faked the moon landing, some janitor someplace who was tasked to clean up the sound stage would have gotten drunk and spilled the details. I think it happened, but the guys who did it were scientists rather than storytellers.
 
I’d say Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing on the Moon would have been a classic. Also, mescaline probably hits different in zero gravity. It’s probably pretty safe to say that the moon landing did happen because, as Will points out, keeping anyone in film production quiet is a lost cause.
 
My vote goes to sending Richard Pryor. His coverage would make for the greatest correspondent reporting in the history of the planet. Also, he'd be the first to tell everybody it was complete BS and we never went to the moon.
 
@Charlie Benton - by default that would have been the funnier pre-fire sale Richard Pryor - way funnier, I’d vote for that.

Timing would be off, but how funny would Dennis Leary have been, in place of Cronkite, “Yeh, he’s got his fucking foot on the ladder, some NASA contraption bullshit…he’s coming down, fuck this is slow, taking forever, fuck, just jump down and get on the fucking moon already…ok, here he goes, that pussy Armstrong is actually gonna do this, he’s fucking on the moon….now what you numb nuts?”

Also off on timing, Sam Kinison, but he never would have made the weight requirements - Armstrong would have wanted more fuel instead, and been right, he’d quietly be talking about fuel reserve and go for insertion, take a poor but calculated risk, and they’d be a pile of junk in the Sea of Tranquility, while Dennis Leary informed the world “there goes Apollo 11, Armstrong that prick just crashed your fucking tax dollars in to the moon.”

Charlie Benton said:
My vote goes to sending Richard Pryor. His coverage would make for the greatest correspondent reporting in the history of the planet. Also, he'd be the first to tell everybody it was complete BS and we never went to the moon.
Click to expand...
 
Godfather said:
@Charlie Benton - by default that would have been the funnier pre-fire sale Richard Pryor - way funnier, I’d vote for that.

Timing would be off, but how funny would Dennis Leary have been, in place of Cronkite, “Yeh, he’s got his fucking foot on the ladder, some NASA contraption bullshit…he’s coming down, fuck this is slow, taking forever, fuck, just jump down and get on the fucking moon already…ok, here he goes, that pussy Armstrong is actually gonna do this, he’s fucking on the moon….now what you numb nuts?”

Also off on timing, Sam Kinison, but he never would have made the weight requirements - Armstrong would have wanted more fuel instead, and been right, he’d quietly be talking about fuel reserve and go for insertion, take a poor but calculated risk, and they’d be a pile of junk in the Sea of Tranquility, while Dennis Leary informed the world “there goes Apollo 11, Armstrong that prick just crashed your fucking tax dollars in to the moon.”
Click to expand...
Perfect Leary impression - good choice
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top