Charlie's Guide to Poor Decisions

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Charlie Benton

Managing Editor
Staff member
FE Staff
Think of this as your own Dear Abby column and ask me about whatever: Gear, guns, ammo, God, police procedure, travel, marital advice, why kids should never be actors, how to spend years unsuccessfully hunting black bears, music recommendations, insomnia, or just my opinion on things that are important to you.
 
Dear Charlie,

How does one cop pull over two cars at the same time?

Sincerely,
Riding Dirty in Jersey
 
😂👏🏼 Clean shaven too! Did your character survive?
On my first day of filming, the hair and make-up folks shaved my beard, telling me that director David Gordon Green liked clean-shaven cops in his films. However, when I got to on set that night, David remarked that he liked my beard and asked why they shaved it. The girl who shaved it freaked out thinking she was going to get fired and did some research. Halloween is set in the fictional town of Haddonfield, Illinois. The make-up gal determined that, at the time of filming, the sheriff's association in Illinois did not allow their deputies/officers to have beards so my baby-face was factually accurate.

I still get residuals (what most people refer to as "royalties") so, do me a favor and watch the movie to find out if I survive.
 
JV thinks I’m crazy wanting to roll the FE x SE J frame in an ankle holster like my favorite undercover cops. What’s your take?
As a backup gun location, sure. Ankle carry is never going to be as readily accessible as something on or around your waist. Having to bend down likely means eyes off target, hiking up your pant leg, avoiding getting your pant leg caught on the grip or holster in the process, drawing, re-acquiring the target, etc. Sheesh. Also, you wear yoga pants about 95% of the time so I'm not sure how that's going to work out for you - but, as always, follow your heart... and send pics.
 
Tell your thoughts on opossum’s?
I was actually extolling the virtues of opossums last night to my wife's coworker and her family. First off, the official term for the marsupial we have in the US is "opossum," while "possum" is an entirely separate species native to Australia. However, I'm told that it's perfectly acceptable to use the term "possum" in an informal setting in the US to refer to "opossums." English makes no sense. Anyway, possums are fantastic and I highly recommend scooping up the next one you find in your yard, taking him inside, and hanging out with him for a few hours. They don't carry rabies, they eat ticks, and while they show their teeth when you approach, I have yet to have a single one actually bite me when I pick it up. In fact, they tend to relax fairly quickly and seem to enjoy lounging around on your shoulders. Sadly, I can't say the same for chipmunks and strongly advise that you don't pick them up as I was bitten twice by the same chipmunk during one lunch break last year.
 
Charlie, what are you reading for fun/pleasure/enlightenment when you're not reading/editing for the print issue?
Daily:
The Bible - I've read it all the way through twice and now am jumping around based on sermons from church, subjects relevant to current events in my life, or direction from a devotional.

Multiple times per week:
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers - Awesome daily devotional, though I haven't adhered to the daily structure and just read them supplementally when it makes sense. It can be a bit heady at times but there are some remarkable insights. My disclaimer with any devotional is to not use them as a substitute for the Bible, which is the inerrant Word of God. All devotionals are man's interpretation and reflections, not to be confused with the Word.

Currently reading for fun:
Killing Pablo by Mark Bowden - Non-fiction account of Pablo Escobar's life and death. A good reminder that, no matter how cute and sad Narcos made him look on that swing, Pablo was a ruthlessly violent narcissistic terrorist.

Just finished:
The Accidental Life by Terry McDonell - Stories of an editor and his relationships with different writers across his career at different publications. A welcomed recommendation sent to me by legend and FE Western European Station Chief Brian Lisankie (@blisankie).

On Deck:
Chaos: Charles Manson, The CIA, and the Secret History of the Sixties by Tom O'Neill and Dan Piepenbring - 20 years of research seems to indicate the narrative we were told about the Manson murders was BS and that the truth ties into possible CIA-orchestrated manipulation of counter-culture.
 
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