Funny Shit Rich Guys Say

[simpsonluke10]

"I wonder what the poor folks are doing....."

I’ve lost count how many times this has been said whilst in the middle of both very good or very bad times

 

[lmetesh]

"Can you believe they want $100 to fix this thing? I'll just do it myself." - DIY'ing a project on a 20-year-old ATV while wearing a Rolex that cost more than my new car.

 

[susannahfaith]

"Hold on. Which Florida beach house did I say you could use?"

"My daughter got her pilot license and now she is always using the helicopter for stuff and we never have it when we need it."

"I told my husband he had to stop storing his Porsche collection here. There are too many in the driveway and it's making us look like white trash."

And so, so much advice about cosmetic surgery.

 

[susannahfaith]

"Can you believe they want $100 to fix this thing? I'll just do it myself." - DIY'ing a project on a 20-year-old ATV while wearing a Rolex that cost more than my new car.

Yesss randomly being cheap about weird things is a classic

 

[yankoa]

The universial thing every rich guy has ever said is, “Money isn’t everything.”

 

[blisankie]

On a private Georgia quail plantation one of the guests had the lack of grace to comment to the owner how it must be nice to have a place where he could shoot birds for free. To which the owner replied; “free? FREE? with everything we have to do just to maintain those coveys I probably have two grand invested in every single one of those birds!”

 

[Charlie Benton]

While in the kitchen of an acquaintance's home on The Battery in Charleston (his third or fourth residence), I found a handwritten note from his wife on the counter that read: "I've gone to Italy. Be back next week. Love, Mia."

 

[Alexandra]

While in the kitchen of an acquaintance's home on The Battery in Charleston (his third or fourth residence), I found a handwritten note from his wife on the counter that read: "I've gone to Italy. Be back next week. Love, Mia."

We'd get along

 

[gelhaargerald]

This is going to be a tough hunt I can’t keep the blind windows from fogging over.

 

[badgererickson]

"What a fucking PITA....".....the process of buying the latest 6 figure car. Whatever, she gives great stock tips among other things...

 

[ddiekmann]

I have a saying: Don't be the guy, be friends with the guy.
Hosted a friend, 'the guy', in early December for a guided goose hunt. (He stands to inherit nearly nine figures when his father passes.) In the pit blind, he asked about my retirement plans...I told him I wasn't sure just yet. He said 'what if I buy a ranch/farm with great hunting and fishing. Then build a house for you and a house for (our mutual friend) Mike and his wife. You guys can manage the operation so when I come visit we can hunt and fish!'
I had no problem letting him shoot the first goose.

 

[michael.shabareck]

In Middle School I worked for an ophthalmologist in Stuart, FL that was very profitable. My mom got me the job and essentially all I was doing was folding printed statements to send to insurance companies at $7/hr as they still required them back then.

Our Christmas party was at Trump National in Jupiter, FL and as I was an employee of the company I got to go.

For whatever reason Donald was there and I assume he wanted to check out what was happening at the party so he decided to walk around and shake hands. Eventually I bumped into him and I shook his hand with a "Nice place sir, thanks for allowing us to host the party here."

He said "Thanks, you should see my other properties too."

I had no idea how to advance that conversation as I'd blown by finest vocabulary budget right out the gate so I followed up with a "Will do."

 

[Cagney]

In Middle School I worked for an ophthalmologist in Stuart, FL that was very profitable. My mom got me the job and essentially all I was doing was folding printed statements to send to insurance companies at $7/hr as they still required them back then.

Our Christmas party was at Trump National in Jupiter, FL and as I was an employee of the company I got to go.

For whatever reason Donald was there and I assume he wanted to check out what was happening at the party so he decided to walk around and shake hands. Eventually I bumped into him and I shook his hand with a "Nice place sir, thanks for allowing us to host the party here."

He said "Thanks, you should see my other properties too."

I had no idea how to advance that conversation as I'd blown by finest vocabulary budget right out the gate so I followed up with a "Will do."

"Let's go big dawg" would have sufficed.

 

[unitas03]

I'm going to try and be ambiguous here as there may / may not be an NDA in place. But, I was on a work trip to an area of the US that's entire existence is because of a large entity.

Whilst at the bar, enjoying a Monkey 47 Negroni, chatting with a fella, let's call him "Dave," his phone rings - he answers it.

About 5 minutes into the conversation he says, "Yeah no problem, we can fly in for oysters and a burger."

Now, I have a personal rule against eating oysters in significantly land-locked states (to where he and guy on phone were flying later that week) unless I personally know the individual (well) serving them or watched them be put on ice, and shucked in less than 6 hours. But, I digress.

I said to Dave, "You trust that places oysters? Last time I was there, there was a worm in my halibut. Haven't ordered seafood from them since" To which he responded,

"No, I'll fly in my own oysters."