Funny Shit Rich Guys Say

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Mike Schoby

Mike Schoby

Rush Chairman
Staff member
FE Staff
Ok, here is the premise.
I, as well as many on here, have spent considerable time with uber rich guys - Hell some of you are one and are on this site (so feel free to be self deprecating). In hunting camp, at Safari Club Conventions or fishing blue water, their comments are priceless while also showing a a complete lack of self awareness.

I started jotting the best ones down in a journal years ago with the mindset to publish a bathroom book one day. I will kick off this thread with some examples. Feel free to contribute and help me fill the book.

Example:
Me: Rich (really his name), are you coming on the Florida fishing trip?
Rich (said with the best Thurston Howell III tone): I would love to, but I can't as that is the height of tennis season at the country club...
 
Not stealing from Mike Shoby, but my friend Rich (yes, his real name and his financial status) and I had just met. We weren't actually friends at the time, but he had read a couple of my articles (FE and others) and reached out to me. Surprisingly, he lived in the KC metro area. We linked up and soon I coordinated a southern Missouri woodcock hunt. At just over five hours travel time, it wouldn't be a bad drive. After picking me up I thought we were on our way, until we ended up at one of the local executive airports. Curious, I remained quiet as I didn't know what was going on. Maybe picking up something. The Rubicon should've been a clue, but nonetheless we drove to a hanger. He told me to hop out and unload my gear. In a matter of minutes the hanger doors opened up, revealing two planes. I asked what are we doing. He responded, "Taking my plane of course. Why drive when you can fly." he said nonchalantly. Soon afterwards he piloted us out to the runway and forty-five minutes we landed in an airstrip to an awaiting SUV. We were were dropped off and shot our limit of woodcock for three guys and then we flew home. We've become very good friends, traveling many places to hunt wild birds in wild places.
 
I was very drunk with the same Rich from Mike Schoby‘s story and we were at the valet stand waiting on an Uber to take us to a gas station to get all sorts of nicotine products for a raging impromptu Field Ethos party that we were having in a ballroom that we did not rent at a very nice hotel. We just took it over because the door was unlocked.

A very obvious, and very good looking female escort was waiting for her SUV out front. Rich and I were both looking at her and I told him we should pay her to go up to the party to cause trouble. Rich agreed. Just then, her car with local plates pulled up with the valet. My opening volley was, “Nice car.”

She turned, looked at me, smiled and said, “What are you guys up to?”

Rich drunkenly inserted himself into the conversation and said, “That’s not a nice car, it’s a goddamn BMW X3. It’s not even an X5."

She told Rich to go fuck himself while he just stared and swayed back and forth. She slammed the door and drove off.

Rich ruined it for everyone in that ballroom.
 
"I’ve never waited more than 48 hours for even a serious repair, as I have my own bench next to my mentors. He retired so now I’ve become like the rest. Have to wait my turn. Never waited once in my life. It’s driving me nuts."

Actually text I received.
 
Said my rich 62 year old buddy about the smokin hot 29 year old Brazilian babe he was dating. "She doesn't like me for my Lambo, she prefers older men. Besides she likes driving my Porsche better anyway." He ended up marrying her.
 
Mike Schoby said:
Ok, here is the premise.
I, as well as many on here, have spent considerable time with uber rich guys - Hell some of you are one and are on this site (so feel free to be self deprecating). In hunting camp, at Safari Club Conventions or fishing blue water, their comments are priceless while also showing a a complete lack of self awareness.

I started jotting the best ones down in a journal years ago with the mindset to publish a bathroom book one day. I will kick off this thread with some examples. Feel free to contribute and help me fill the book.

Example:
Me: Rich (really his name), are you coming on the Florida fishing trip?
Rich (said with the best Thurston Howell III tone): I would love to, but I can't as that is the height of tennis season at the country club...
Click to expand...
Can’t hide money… 😂
 
I was in a multi million dollar negotiation once, in a reserved hotel conference room, when a man walked in that looked homeless. Sandals, board shorts, rough looking t-shirt, unkept beard and a flat bill. It was all stares and silence, waiting for him to leave the room or for someone to escort him out. Instead, he says, “sorry I’m late, traffic was bad and a bridge was down.” He sat down and it became clear to me he was part of the opposing side. His business partners looked out of patience and embarrassed. Throughout the meeting, he was unreasonable, would blow up and threaten to walkout, sabotaging any potential agreement. I later found out, he demanded the company private jet pick him up to arrive a day early and stay at the hotel next door in order to make it on time 😂
 
Two partners at my firm were bragging about each of their personal chefs and it got chippy. In real time they decided to swap for a month and aligned on logistics based on summer travel plans. After they left a junior staffer in the room asked “did they just trade humans?” 😆
 
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