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Field Ethos
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By Gayne C. Young
Hey, did you hear the one about Napoleon’s dick?
No, this isn’t the setup for some lame joke. I’m seriously asking you, dear reader, if you know the bizarre yet 100-percent true story of Napoleon Bonaparte’s member.
Our story began with the death of the Man of Destiny at the age of 51 on the island of St. Helena on May 5, 1821. After performing an autopsy, Napoleon’s personal physician, Francesco Antommarchi, sliced off the emperor’s thang and gave it to a priest named Abbé Anges Paul Vignali, who in turn smuggled it to Corsica. Vignali later died—was killed in a vendetta actually—and the penis was left to his heirs. That family sold the tallywhacker in 1916 to a London bookseller. The dong was sold again to American antiquarian bookseller Dr. A.S.W. Rosenbach in 1924. Rosenbach placed the schlong in a blue velvet-lined box and put it on public display in New York in 1927.
No one was impressed.
This is because Napoleon’s pecker was never actually preserved. It never went to a taxidermist or was placed in a jar of formaldehyde. Descriptions of what remained of Napoleon’s manhood at the time ranged from it looking like a “piece of leather,” a “shriveled eel,” and a “maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace.”
Rosenbach offered to sell Napoleon’s Willy to the French government, but they weren’t interested in some dead guy’s cock no matter who he was. The poorly-preserved package was sold again and again throughout the years before being purchased in 1977 for $3,000 by urologist and Columbia University professor Dr. John K. Lattimer. The good doctor did nothing with the ding-a-ling because he felt the penis had become, “an object of derision.” Lattimer hid the whang away from the world and even refused to sell it despite being offered over $100,000. The penis was handed down to Lattimer’s family following his death in 2007.
According to current holder of the todger Evan Lattimer, few have seen the penis and it has never been photographed or filmed. This didn’t stop the makers of a Channel 4 documentary series “Dead Famous DNA” from traveling to see the wiener firsthand in 2014. Show host Mark Evans said of Napoleon’s purple-headed yogurt slinger, “I’ve seen a lot of penises, from a chihuahua to a sperm whale. This is so withered. The last place I would have expected to find it is in New Jersey. It’s strange how the withered penis has ventured further around the world than Napoleon ever did.” Evans agreed. He said, “It’s very small, but it’s famous for being small. It’s perfect structurally, the university have done X-rays and examinations and it’s obviously what it is.”
So how small is Little Napoleon?
That’s hard … er, difficult to say.
“Dead Famous DNA” reported the penis as 1.5 inches in length. The show didn’t specify—and no one has—if this means the John Thomas is that length in its mummified state today or at the time it was cut off. Regardless, this less-than-stellar length has led many to wonder it was the cause of Napoleon’s Little Man Syndrome.
Who knows?
Certainly not me, as I’m just a lowly writer who gets paid to write about historical dicks.
The post Napoleon’s Boner Part appeared first on Field Ethos.
Continue reading...
Hey, did you hear the one about Napoleon’s dick?
No, this isn’t the setup for some lame joke. I’m seriously asking you, dear reader, if you know the bizarre yet 100-percent true story of Napoleon Bonaparte’s member.
Our story began with the death of the Man of Destiny at the age of 51 on the island of St. Helena on May 5, 1821. After performing an autopsy, Napoleon’s personal physician, Francesco Antommarchi, sliced off the emperor’s thang and gave it to a priest named Abbé Anges Paul Vignali, who in turn smuggled it to Corsica. Vignali later died—was killed in a vendetta actually—and the penis was left to his heirs. That family sold the tallywhacker in 1916 to a London bookseller. The dong was sold again to American antiquarian bookseller Dr. A.S.W. Rosenbach in 1924. Rosenbach placed the schlong in a blue velvet-lined box and put it on public display in New York in 1927.
No one was impressed.
This is because Napoleon’s pecker was never actually preserved. It never went to a taxidermist or was placed in a jar of formaldehyde. Descriptions of what remained of Napoleon’s manhood at the time ranged from it looking like a “piece of leather,” a “shriveled eel,” and a “maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace.”
Lil’ Napoleon’s Complex Adventure
Rosenbach offered to sell Napoleon’s Willy to the French government, but they weren’t interested in some dead guy’s cock no matter who he was. The poorly-preserved package was sold again and again throughout the years before being purchased in 1977 for $3,000 by urologist and Columbia University professor Dr. John K. Lattimer. The good doctor did nothing with the ding-a-ling because he felt the penis had become, “an object of derision.” Lattimer hid the whang away from the world and even refused to sell it despite being offered over $100,000. The penis was handed down to Lattimer’s family following his death in 2007.
According to current holder of the todger Evan Lattimer, few have seen the penis and it has never been photographed or filmed. This didn’t stop the makers of a Channel 4 documentary series “Dead Famous DNA” from traveling to see the wiener firsthand in 2014. Show host Mark Evans said of Napoleon’s purple-headed yogurt slinger, “I’ve seen a lot of penises, from a chihuahua to a sperm whale. This is so withered. The last place I would have expected to find it is in New Jersey. It’s strange how the withered penis has ventured further around the world than Napoleon ever did.” Evans agreed. He said, “It’s very small, but it’s famous for being small. It’s perfect structurally, the university have done X-rays and examinations and it’s obviously what it is.”
So how small is Little Napoleon?
That’s hard … er, difficult to say.
“Dead Famous DNA” reported the penis as 1.5 inches in length. The show didn’t specify—and no one has—if this means the John Thomas is that length in its mummified state today or at the time it was cut off. Regardless, this less-than-stellar length has led many to wonder it was the cause of Napoleon’s Little Man Syndrome.
Who knows?
Certainly not me, as I’m just a lowly writer who gets paid to write about historical dicks.
The post Napoleon’s Boner Part appeared first on Field Ethos.
Continue reading...
