The Shitbox Subaru

[Ron Dan]

Well boys, I’m giving y’all the opportunity to own the car of a lifetime. I’m no expert in Jap cars but this one’s a beauty. She’s got hail damage galore but that insurance check is what paid for the new tranny. I know she has a fresh ignition coil because @Jason Vincent blew the last one ripping this thing sideways through the country roads by FE HQ.

Yes, it’s a Subaru. Yes, it has weird red/pink wheels. Yes, it’s affectionately named the Shitbox. Yes, the check engine light is always on and off.

She ain’t much to look at but she’ll fire up every time you turn the key. It also gets incredible gas mileage so it’s a regular choice for my commute to the office.

If you’re asking a bunch of questions about it, this isn’t the car for you. If you want a driver’s car that’s the most fun we’ve had in a long time, this might be the car for you.

The previous owner took a bunch of photos of it and these are most of them.

I traded a gun for this car. It’s one of the best trades I’ve ever made.

 

[jeffreyhperry2]

Well boys, I’m giving y’all the opportunity to own the car of a lifetime. I’m no expert in Jap cars but this one’s a beauty. She’s got hail damage galore but that insurance check is what paid for the new tranny. I know she has a fresh ignition coil because @Jason Vincent blew the last one ripping this thing sideways through the country roads by FE HQ.

Yes, it’s a Subaru. Yes, it has weird red/pink wheels. Yes, it’s affectionately named the Shitbox. Yes, the check engine light is always on and off.

She ain’t much to look at but she’ll fire up every time you turn the key. It also gets incredible gas mileage so it’s a regular choice for my commute to the office.

If you’re asking a bunch of questions about it, this isn’t the car for you. If you want a driver’s car that’s the most fun we’ve had in a long time, this might be the car for you.

The previous owner took a bunch of photos of it and these are most of them.

I traded a gun for this car. It’s one of the best trades I’ve ever made.

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This is really tempting…

I’m envisioning a full Dukes of Hazzard makeover but perhaps stripping all the doors off instead of welding them shut.

My standing offer is a case of Montucky and a 10 logs of Alp niners.

 

[Pete Correale]

Kinda sick actually… does it come with the tow hitch?

 

[badgererickson]

 

[Chad Adams]

@Ron Dan, it just needs a couple of Ugly Stiks in the roof rack.

 

[Ron Dan]

Kinda sick actually… does it come with the tow hitch?

For you buddy, I’ll throw in the tow hitch

 

[Ron Dan]

This is really tempting…

I’m envisioning a full Dukes of Hazzard makeover but perhaps stripping all the doors off instead of welding them shut.

My standing offer is a case of Montucky and a 10 logs of Alp niners.

Man, you’re just trying to hurt my feelings. You know I can’t handle the 9mg ALPs.

 

[torresdavid09]

Clicked on this thinking it was gonna be a legit shitbox Subie and was surprised to see a sick little Lesbaru.

Good luck with it RD!

 

[Ron Dan]

Clicked on this thinking it was gonna be a legit shitbox Subie and was surprised to see a sick little Lesbaru.

Good luck with it RD!

You’ll have to see it in person some day. It drives like a dream but it’s a real deal shitbox.

 

[torresdavid09]

You’ll have to see it in person some day. It drives like a dream but it’s a real deal shitbox.

Ah... Probably why you elected to hold off on the interior pics. Likely riddled with blood stains and cig burns.

 

[Ron Dan]

Ah... Probably why you elected to hold off on the interior pics. Likely riddled with blood stains and cig burns.

The interior actually isn’t too bad. The front seat has a big tear and it kind of smells like a car you would imagine a soccer coach’s car would have.

The biggest thing is the hail damage. God really painted that canvas.

 

[iammattpowell]

This thing could be converted into one helluva apocalypse LAV (Lesbian Assault Vehicle), it would be a thing of beauty.

 

[Ron Dan]

This thing could be converted into one helluva apocalypse LAV (Lesbian Assault Vehicle), it would be a thing of beauty.

Do the lord’s work with it

 

[iammattpowell]

Do the lord’s work with it

My wife is gonna send the post to someone she knows who buys cars like this, if he's interested I'll let you know. Then, if he does, I'll just go take it from him during the apocalypse. Win, win...win.

 

[Ron Dan]

My wife is gonna send the post to someone she knows who buys cars like this, if he's interested I'll let you know. Then, if he does, I'll just go take it from him during the apocalypse. Win, win...win.

Word. The price depends on how cool the buyer is. The price ranges from $5k down to a case of Montucky and 10 logs of ALP.

 

[Jason Vincent]

This thing looks like shit in every imaginable way. I don’t even like it when Ron parks it close to FE HQ.

That said, it fucking rips.

I drifted it around town in one of the finest displays of driving the world has ever seen. Charlie was in the backseat and still won’t ride with me 6 months later.

I did blow at least 1 coil on this op. It’s been repaired and is ready for someone else to be embarrassed by it.

No low balls. Ron knows what he has.

Ron, I’ll give you 5 cases of Montucky if you let me jump it into a creek.