What’s the one moment in your life that should’ve killed you, but didn’t?

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I just came back from 1 week in Afghanistan hanging out with the Talibans. Crazy beautiful country, but man there were some close calls. One time we were stranded in a village and my guide slept on his loaded AK which, I didn’t know, was pointing to my head all night long. 8 hours of him moving around on his one in the chambered rifle.. no misfires, thank god it was soviet engineering and not a SIG
Dang. Had a few close calls like that while I was on a MTT in 08'. It's definitely interesting to be on a flat range with indig. Spent most of it telling them if they are going to jerk off on post at least face out and cover their sector of fire.
 
I was living in Tanzania in 2007–08, working with an anti-poaching unit on a hunting concession that butted right up against the Serengeti. It was honest work, the kind that smells like sweat, dust, and diesel, and it had a way of reminding you—daily—that the bush doesn’t care about your intentions.

One night around 10:30, the two guys manning the Observation Post radioed in. They’d spotted a fire. Not a cooking fire. Not a mistake. A poaching camp. About five miles out.

We made the call to walk it. No engines. No headlights. Just boots, rifles (mine and the game scouts), and bad ideas wrapped in good intentions.

About halfway there, the route funneled us through a mess of thick brush and rock kopjes—those massive granite outcrops that look timeless and feel like ambushes waiting to happen. I was first in line, because I had the big gun—a 500 Nitro Express—for anything with teeth, horns, or an attitude problem.

That’s when my right foot suddenly felt… wrong.

Heavy. Like someone had tied a lead weight to my boot.

I stopped. Slowly. Turned on my red headlamp. Looked down.

There was a puff adder. Its fangs buried clean through my rugby sock.

Not striking. Just… attached.

Time did something strange right then. I remember thinking, very clearly, Well, this is going to complicate things.

Prior to this ordeal one of the PHs told me when he cut roads in the off-season, he always scrunched his rugby socks down to keep seeds and burrs out of his boots. That night, I’d done the same thing without much thought.

Those thick, folded socks didn’t save my life—but they likely saved my leg. Maybe it saved me from a long, ugly stretch of nights in questionable healthcare, wondering how bad antivenom shortages really get.

The puff adder eventually disengaged, via Mbasha (one of the rangers) using the sharp side of his panga (machete) to relocate the body of the puff adder. After 10 minutes of working with multiple pangas and my cold steel knife, we eventually got the head of the puff adder out of my sock.

We still walked on. Still shut down the camp.

The bush doesn’t always announce itself with a roar. Sometimes it just grabs your sock and waits to see how serious you are.
 
When I was 17, I started skydiving in Clovis, New Mexico. I've had several close calls over my time jumping.

Which include the time a new jumper in a head down dive when I was jumping in Muleshoe, Tx (yes there is a town by that name) missed me by about 10 -20' (traveling between 150 - 20MPH), or the time my then girl friend (and now wife of 43 years) and I were scheduled to do a round robin set of jumps in southern California on Spikes Twin Beech, but due to a demonstration jump I was invited to that popped up (Port Hueneme Navy Base I believe) we re-scheduled for the next weekend round robin. Everyone on the original round robin died when the plane crashed on take off inTaft, California (https://www.usdeadlyevents.com/1982...parachuting-jump-plane-crash-near-taft-ca-14/).

Sometimes you do stupid stuff that you know is outside the proper parameters of your sport. In my case, my parachute malfunctioned on two previous jumps, and I handled those situations well. I was jumping at the Perris, Ca. dropzone one weekend when I had my third malfunction (and last fortunately).

I was so "used" to the process of cutting away and deploying my reserve, that when it happened again, I made two almost fatal decisions. First, I decided that I would get a little more free fall out of the situation since my Main "slowed" me down (a bit) so I didn't immediately deploy my reserve after cutting away from the main.

Second, on my previous two malfunctions, I lost my cut away devices (AKA pud) and my reserve ripcords. I was not making a lot of money at the time, so I wanted to hold on to these. That in and of itself is not such a bad decision, but may have contributed to the next problem.

Since I was not at full terminal velocity due to my main being deployed, when I cut away, I started to pitch forward and roll onto my back. So I'm holding my cut away pud (pat on the back), but now about to be upside down relative to the earth, which is not ideal when on your last parachute. and apparently very close to the ground.

Out of shear panic, I ditched the cut away device and pull and discarded the ripcord like it was on fire.

I reverted to my training for my very first jump, and hit the hardest arch position I think I ever did, bringing me back to a belly to the earth position. The reserve ( a wonderful Piglet that opens in milliseconds) opened and I oscillated about 1 and 1/2 times before landing behind the packing shed (fortunately not on it).

Funny thing is that my future wife (who also jumps), who I hadn't met yet, was standing behind the packing shed and had to run to keep from being pancaked by this Dumb A** Marine. She told me later that she could see the space between my fingers I was so close to the ground. I had several other close calls before I stopped jumping in 1992, but this was probably the closest to death I ever came.
 
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We don't stay at cheap motels any more.
Not my story, but my Nephew was on a job in Florida staying at a motel. Around 3 in the morning someone is pounding on his door. He gets up, and opens the door (prior to looking through the peep site - bad idea). Two guys rush him and tie him up. Yelling at him for the money. He has no idea what they are talking about, He seriously thought he was going to die. I guess they got tired of him denying he has their money, and convinced them they had the wrong guy. They leave him tied up, but alive. The maid finally lets him go the next morning. He calls the police and while they are taking down his account of the situation, the guy in the a room next door asked him what all the ruckus was, and he told him the story. He said the guy turned white, and made quickly to get the heck out of there. I guess the invaders picked the wrong room. He quit the job and joined the army immediately. Couple of tours in Afghanistan and he is now an E8.
 
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